#if i could fall just . fall back asleep…
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wait, you're a lawyer? for real?
I got an associates in stage tech, a double BFA in Graphic Design and 3D Design, and then went to law school on full academic scholarship, booked twelve classes, fell asleep during the Bar Exam three times (but passed with flying colors before the curve), and the motion for my admission to practice (put forward by my brother, also a lawyer), started, "My sister has many issues, but the one before the Court today is that of her admission to the State Bar of Michigan."
And somehow yes, they do let me practice law.
#i try to to brag about myself because that is a midwestern seven deadly sin#but i will be honest: i am excellent at school. I could get a degree in anything#even things i would be genuinely terrible at#because im just really good at school.#it is not a useful skillset post graduation.#anyway my brother and i were in law school with an overlap of about a year and a half and our peers fucking hated it#because he went through and booked a ton of classes#breaking the curve kind of a lot#and just when they thought they were rid of him and the curve could go back to normal: here i come with the same bullshit#also to be clear the Bar is two full days . i didn't fall asleep three times in like a one hour test.#.... although i have also done that.
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Love that stupid hairbrushing scene where Padme pretends to brush her curly hair. It's so doll-like, but the doll she's playing with is herself. Putting on a performance for her husband, but really acting out a fantasy for herself.
#And then she puts on her lip gloss before going to bed. Just a perfect pretty little wife with no problems#just love and domestic bliss.#it reminds me a tiny bit of that one scene in the marverlous mrs maisel#where midge waits for husband to fall asleep before taking off her make-up and putting her rollers in and then wakes and puts it all back o#before his alarm goes off and she pretends to wake up. all to preserve the illusion. the fantasy.#with padme the vibe is slightly different#because she's not really expected to perform this kind of tradwife shit#but this is her escape from the crushing weight of everything else she cares about going under#padme amidala#alternatively: she sent all her servants home so she could host her secret husband#but has no actual idea what her hair-care routine is#so she's just doing whatever#but i kinda don't entirely vibe with because of the whole handmaid body-double thing#surely she had to be able to act the part
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Just started generic vyvanse and wow. No wonder it changed lives. They say it lasts more than 4 to 6 hours and then it DOES? Most adhd meds I've tried will wear off in 4 or 5 hours, so I'd often have to take another dose later in the day, but this shit keeps me going for a good 10-13 hours!
(This is just my experience! I'm just a guy I'm not a doctor disclaimer so uh don't take my word as law lol)
#with adderall i could take it a few hours before bed (bad. don't do this) and fall asleep while it was still active.#so id sometimes fall asleep unintentionally right after taking it and just waste it#but with this its like if i fall asleep it pauses? and then will work the remaining time. crazy what they did here#its absolutely a combination of the therapy and meds as well as stoping my weed gummies to get my baseline back to normal#basically i was relying on weed to give me the dopamine to acomplish tasks and face painful emotions. but i wasn't going to therapy so the#the problems just stayed in my brain.#i still think weed is great and can be a very powerful medicine. but it also can keep you stagnant in life.#so nows a great time for a long needed break
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going back to drawing feels so scary because it's confronting myself and what i am and what i failed and making peace with the fact that my life fucking sucks and i'm a failure who is rotting in poverty under fascism and occupation and that i'm too deep into my head and too overwhelmed with my shame to recognize it all and strive to be better instead of feeling like i need a gun to my head and a bullet to hit me straight in the brain.
huh. anyways
#personal tag#couldn't fall asleep last night because i was thinking of th ecommission i promised to finish back in JULY...#it's almost december.#literally ready to send the person who ordered it all the money back and my head as an apology#like logically i know i need to just get myself together and finish shit#and instead i wallow in self-pity and fear and want to tear myself apart for being a bad person#nobody cares just finish the drawing oh my gooood#literally a bullet to the head could fix me
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oh hey. i got woken up and dragged out to the park to go see the northern lights at 12 am so uh. have some pictures it was really cool
#we brought the dog with and let him wander around off-leash cause there was no one else out#but then this cat wandered in from the far side of the park and we had to get him back in the car real quick (luckily he didn't notice it)#anyway the cat just hung around a while and i remember once looking over at it and it was kind of crouched about 20 feet away just staring#at me and it was perfectly angled so i could see the outline of it against the grass and its eyes reflecting bright green#so that was fun even though i couldn't sleep well after (just random insomnia i had a hard time falling asleep and woke up a couple times)
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O'Knutzy Week Day 5
Yooo, we've made it to the end!! (Of creating at least, still two more days left but I didn't have time to make anything. Also still written in advance to the actual week.)
Anyway, I figured for the last day I would share the songs on my O'Knutzy playlist I listened to while writing my stories (+ the characters they remind me of and why they did)
Credit of this beautiful thing we call Logan Tremblay, Finn O'Hara, and Leo Knut to @lumosinlove , and thanks to @oknutzy-week-2024 for also just being amazing.
Anyway songs under cut :)
shhh its a shit ton of Hozier
Line Without a Hook, Rick Montgomery - Ok look at me and tell me this isn't Harvard Era Finnlo. "You can hold my hand if no ones there" LOGAN! "All my emotions feel like explosions when you're around" FINN! Nuff' said.
Wish You Were Sober, Conan Gray - I only need one word to explain this one. Harvard. Next!
Sun, Two Door Cinema Club - Mainly reminds me of Finn, especially when he's in Gryfindor and Logan's still at Harvard. But also like listen to it, literally the entire song is just them.
Young In America, Barnes Courtney - Just gives me that Harvard vibe yk, Finn and Logan being best friends and then being drawn apart, it just fits them Imo. ALSO THAT LAST FUCKING VERSE IS SO UGH FINNLO (Also happens to be my favorite song rn so that may be part of it but like it's still them)
Running In Circles, Dead Poet Society - LOGAN. Specifically Logan his last year of college without Finn and him being in pain. Him having to hide it as well, and pretending he's not completely fucking devastated without Finn. Just the angst.
Atlantis, Seafret - Makes me think of Logan being scared and constantly telling Finn they can't and pretty much everything after the night Finn leaves Harvard. The feeling of helpless and inevitable heartbreak is very in line with that period of time.
Mind Over Matter, Young The Giant - Very Logan coded. Kinda how I imagined him with Leo and Finn before they got together. Also, "Cause' I'm a young man built to fall" is just something I think Logan would have told himself on why he couldn't tell Finn or Leo.
To Someone From A Warm Climate, Hozier - Also very Logan coded, I imagine him just quietly singing this into Leo's ear in the dark of a winter night, which are cold in Gryfindor which Leo is NOT used to.
Francesca, Hozier - Ahem, "the entire fucking song". Finn. This song = Finn. More exactly reflecting back on all of the hurt he and Logan went through together and knowing he would do it again. And again. And again. Especially when he's a Lion and O'Knutzy isn't a thing yet.
Home, Good Neighbours - Leo's homesickness, Logan missing Gryfindor in NY, Finn wanting to go back to Logan at Harvard. All of it. Though it did mainly make me think of Leo going home for a little bit after the Rangers knocked the Lions out of the playoffs in Vaincre.
TIMEZONE, Maneskin - Let me take you back to a lovely place called Logan fully ditching all-stars to see Leo and Finn in Vaincre. If this isn't the most Logan song I've ever heard, I don't even know. Also could be Logan in NY, or even Finn in Gryf while Logan's at Harvard.
Heaven Must Have Sent You, The Elgins - Leo. Just the way Leo tends to think about Finn and Logan, and he's definitely played this while dinner was cooking and the three of them danced in the kitchen.
Can't Take My Eye's Off You, Frankie Valli - Leo sings this at karaoke night constantly and you cannot tell me otherwise. Anyway, self explanatory, moving on.
Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene, Hozier - Finn and the way he thinks of Leo and Logan. I think that's enough.
From Eden, Hozier - Yk, I don't actually have a clear explination for this one, it just gives me those O'Knutzy vibes.
Somewhere Only We Know, Keane - Reminds me of Harvard and the Roof, but also just a very O'Knutzy and FinLo song that makes me want to reread Coast to Coast.
Ditmas, Mumford and Sons - FinLo falling apart after Finn graduates. The angst is very appropriate and obviously it doesn't last but this is how I imagine it was back then.
i wanna be your girlfriend, girl in red - Very self explanatory, we don't need to dwell on it.
Figure You Out, VOILA - Hey remember when Logan freaked out when he though Finn got a girlfriend? This, it's this. Every time one little romantic interest and Logan just turns into the embodiment of this song.
Mercy, Shawn Mendes - Ok yes Ik it's basic but this is totally how Finn felt when him and Logan were doing their little dance around each other and it was absolutely Killing Finn.
Thinking Out Loud, Ed Sheeran - OK I GET IT ALSO BASIC but it does genuinely make me think of an older O'Knutzy, one that will love each other for a very long time and will love each other no matter what happens and how they change.
High, Stephen Sanchez - Sorry this song is so Finn being fucking horny over Logan in college and thinking about all the things he would do to him given the chance.
Beautiful Things, Benson Boone - SHUT UP I KNOW BASIC, but anyway this is Logan thinking over the last few years and how things have gotten so much better but also being so so so scared he could lose it all in a moment. His beautiful things are Finn and Leo.
Supernatural, Barnes Courtney - Finn constantly at Harvard. Logan and him are dancing around each other and Logan keeps fucking touching him and being so close and it drives him insane. And just a very Harvard Era song.
Like Real People Do, Hozier - Not Finn saying "can we for once not kiss while we're both crying" and that's literally just this song in different words, ok?
If She's Anything Like Me, MALINDA - Logan with every single girl Finn talks about or even looks at. Finn is genuinely the most perfect and lovable person in his eyes, so why wouldn't everyone else love him, too? And just because he doesn't have the guts to say it, that doesn't mean they won't.
Heat Waves, Glass Animals - Ok ok ok ok ok hear me out..... Actually I don't have much to defend this so Ig it's just all of them staying up late at night just thinking about each other.
Home, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - A very FinLo coded song, especially with the "Jade...Alexander....I was falling deep deep deeply in love with you," part because tell me that didn't happen. Also Leo works in here too because home is with his boys and their home will always be with him, too.
When He Sees Me, Kimiko Glenn & co - Definitely what Leo came into his Rookie season thinking. Especially once he met Finn and Logan knowing he'd be head over heels if he wasn't careful. Just very Leo as well because ofc he's fucking defensive of his heart right after Jack bitchass Archer.
She, Foxy Venus - Guess, take a wild guess. Did you guess Harvard Era Finlo because yeah, that's it. More specifically I think Finn and trying to get Logan out of his mind and move on and that not working whatsoever.
Can't Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley - This took me an embarrassingly long time to add but yeah Very much Leo with his boys and then Logan and Finn with Leo.
Can't Pretend, Tom Odell - Also took me an embarrassingly long time to add considering it HAS THE SAME TITLE AS ONE OF MY FUCKING WORKS but we don't need to dwell on it. Anyway, FinLo again, especially canonically when they have their little talks about loving each other and not admitting it.
This playlist will probably grow but y'all ain't getting my Spotify so it's just a list rn, might add onto it, idk. Anyway, hope this was suitable for a final O'Knutzy week post and figured it be fun to show you what I was listening to while writing all this. Genuinely I had To Someone From A Warm Climate on repeat while writing the first half of With a Straight Face because if y'all we're confused about the vibe, it's that (especially the beginning). Also Supernatural was on repeat for the first part of When We Can't Pretend (Oh and High was on repeat during the Kiss in the second half, lol).
Ok peace I genuinely can't wait to see everything when I get back in August!
#finn o'hara#logan tremblay#leo knut#o'knutzy#sweater weather lumosinlove#breakaway lumosinlove#vaincre lumosinlove#coast to coast lumosinlove#I'm so tired I can't tag rn#If yall made it this far congrats sorry for my weird music tase#I would have had more barns courtney if more fit with o'knutzy but unfortunately it does not#I should have gone to sleep two hours ago but alas#here I am#I'll probably just put to someone from a warm climate on repeat until I fall asleep#I'm actually so mad that I remembered can't pretend by Tom Odell only after i'd finished my fic with the exact same title#like that could have been perfect#anyway this was actually made the day before the actual week so I'm not as early in scheduling this one#hope it was a good week#Ill be back in August to see the beautiful trainwreck#o'knutzy week 2024#was#oh shit#forgot to tag#lumosinlove#told you Im tired#I'm going to bed now
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I'm putting together my costume for tomorrow as the ghost of a mad lighthouse keeper, and I put it on to see which sweater works best, and I realized that without the ghost makeup I'm basically cosplaying a miniature Peter Lukas
#sword speaks#I have a whole backstory for my ghost too#they got mercury poisoning and it made them believe that their wife was sick. So sick she didn't even know it#and because mercury was in lots of medicines back in the day they decided to secretly dose her with straight mercury#it's her 'medicine' and of course they're taking it too but in much smaller doses as a preventative#when the wife eventually dies their final thread of reality snaps and they believe their wife is just asleep#even after her flesh begins to rot even after she is naught but bone they sleep beside her#and talks to her as if she's still alive#and when her skull eventually falls off they start to carry it around with them when they do the lighthouse chores#because it's good to have the company and their glad she can find the time now that she's on sick rest#they still feed her the mercury and there are periods that they can't stop laughing#but everything is fine cause they're working and with their wife how could anything be wrong?#and don't you look a bit unwell yourself? They have some medicine here that'll do wonders for you
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an absolute wave of homesickness for Doctor Who (2005) series 1-2 just about knocks me over at the quietest moments of my little life
#it was such a specific time. I was just a kiddo#still living with my parents with a giant bedroom downstairs all to myself#it used to be a hair studio or something for whoever lived there before us. and I had this massive room with a table to draw and write at#and a tiny twin bed and I used to set up a projector against the opposite wall and hook it up to my laptop and watch DW to fall asleep#enthralled. couldn't believe the show I'd found. couldn't believe how much I loved Rose and loved the Doctor#you could not drag me away from it. I could not stop talking about it or thinking about it. Matt Smith had just become the Doctor and I-#-had so much content left to consume. and everything was simple. I didn't have a job at the time and every day was creativity#I used to write so much I'd forget to eat. and Doctor Who was the background music of my life back then#I miss winter nights swearing I'd only watch one more episode before I went to bed. all by myself. my family hadn't discovered the show yet#in that small single bed with four blankets and Doctor Who on the wall. drooling over timepetals and pausing and rewinding constantly#that time of my life was so safe and so secure and my imagination was so hungry and DW was feeding it and it was my first time seeing it#I miss that. I miss knowing it couldn't be ruined and there was more yet to see on live television with Eleven when I got caught up#and meeting Matt Smith's Doctor on my own while my family had just then started watching it themselves with Nine? magic#nostalgia#dw#doctor who#bbc#timepetals#dr who#rose tyler#doctor who 2005#tenth doctor#tenrose#elevenrose#ninerose#nine#ninth doctor#ten#eleven#eleventh doctor
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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Going Through It This Week
#oc: bean#sona tag#vent tag#I am too tired for lineart so I simply will not#I've just been trying to stay awake bc I keep falling asleep in my chair and fucking up my back and sleep schedule#not that either were very good to begin with but yeah#I would like to stay awake for a few more hours so I could actually draw something but I don't know what to draw#time for circles for three hours I guess
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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been thinking about how asuna’s [spoiler] scene in the last chapter of idol sengen is oddly underwhelming in the volume version compared to the piccoma release?
i mean l i ke (spoiler reveal under the cut)—
idk if it’s just me but seeing it in colour made the scene hit harder somehow? in some way?
s o . im just. thinking ahead here but…
what if i tried to overlay the colour panel onto the page when i eventually tl it in a few months?
i’m not good at picture editing at all.
b u t still.
i kinda wanna try to go the extra mile for asuna anyway… hmmmmmmmmm…
#oh welllll. in the end that’s for future me to decide ig…#i’m not even sure if anyone would be interested in it anyway…#maybe i could pay someone to do it for me instead (<-has 0 connections)#hm. maybe i should’ve tried to socialise more in school. maybe i’d have met a p.shop guy or two lmao#oh well. ig it’s video tutorial time… maybe… i hope i don’t fall asleep~~~~ bc it’s for asuna….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#in any case!!!! my mind and productivity has been completely ruined by thoughts on my newfound doomed crackship of asuna x sena#like it’s a ship that could go wrong in so many ways (whether asuna gets with sena or not) and im just. ✨thoughts✨ yk???#i love the concept of rivals/enemies to lovers asumona but. like. asusena. yk.#like picture this: pov you just realised that your loving gf’s sister is the same newbie idol you’ve been unfairly antagonising and such#a n d knowing how strong sena’s sisterly love for mona is… yk??? doomed crackship is ✨doomed✨#aighhtttt ok im done with asuna thoughts for the day i s w e a r#(though ngl if they somehow end up giving asuna a cv and she somehow turns out to be ✨e m i t s u n✨ of honoka-chan fame (very unlikely)…)#(…i will pass on in ✨peace✨ idk i just think her powerful yet soothing voice would suit asuna (<-fell back into ll phase))#o k o k im done fr this time i s w e a r anyways stan asuna frusu ok bye
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another interview today let's gooooo
#it's just a phone interview not a zoom interview so i can pace like a maniac. which helps lmao#i'm too tired to look professional on screen lol i've been having trouble falling asleep the last few nights 🤪#it's just like. i could have a job this week! or both these jobs i have leads on could fall through and i'll have to start back at square 1#i have a good feeling about the job i interviewed with on monday. i didn't interview perfectly but i think they liked me#but then i'm like. what if the things i fumbled on were really important#i didn't say anything Wrong. i don't think i did anyway. but eye dee kay#m.txt
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Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.
I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3
Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!
Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!
And the gay comics are the least I can do 🧡 thank you for reading it!
#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m#like dont get me wrong. im still tired#but it has been a WORLD of a difference.#like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep#and every night i wake up every. other. hour.#ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time#so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before.#and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!!#super bad hahaha#but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day#im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help#but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot?#so i think the combo is important#and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient#anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj#see how it goes lol#oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping#so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap#this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol#asks#jackedupjack
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no hot shower for me tonight. but i will be channelling my inner medieval peasant and heating various pans of water on the hob for a bath.
#also no heating for me tonight or tomorrow or the day after or maybe even the day after that#in fact who knows when i'll get heating back :)#which is great because the temps just dropped from 15°c to 7°c#anyways. the water heater is Broken and Leaking and there's a Damp Patch on the ceiling#and i saw this 5 minutes before we had someone come to view the house#and ive called Multiple plumbers and im waiting for one to call me back because he may be able to come out and check tomorrow morning#but i think he forgot about me#so earliest is monday afternoon w/ someone else#we think we'll have to replace the whole thing but god knows how much that'll cost. alternatively we could get a combi boiler#which would be more efficient and space saving#but that's minimum like £5k#in the meantime we had to turn off the heater and drain out all the hot water#but i just :) i think the thing is. id spend anything if we werent hoping to buy a new place/move#but with the economy as it is we really dont want to take thousands of pounds out of our house deposit fund#and speaking of someone put an offer on our house today but they offered like £30k below the valued price and we were like#haha absolutely not. sorry but we cannot afford to do that#and the price is only like £8k more than what we paid in 2020#and i have no idea if my pharmacy managed to order in my meds and im almost Out again#and im not on them today so i have mad fatigue#and keep almost falling asleep#and im just done w it all. especially after all the horrible shit that's happened this week. politically. in the usa and germany etc#and all the other shit that's happening across the globe :)#im so sorry this is such a stupid overshare but i am so sick of things happening#tbd
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where is the levity… the fun… the giggles…
#once more reminded i am not built for online sports fandom in the slightest#personally not having a whole lot of fun rn!!!!!!#i am in so much FUCKING pain if my bones don’t pull their shit together i am walking into the sea#if i could fall just . fall back asleep…
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